Confusingly in Love
by xoxamberxox
Summary: a challenge given to me by my friend its sirius/remus the confuision and lust of poor little remus sirius is openly gay o and the quote at the end.....thats not sposed to be there....my bad


Okay so this is a little more rushed than I normally like but…… I don't want to make a long one lol…

Okay so this is a little more rushed than I normally like but…… I don't want to make a long one lol….and I don't like really short fics so I did this sort of medium-ish. So I hope you like despite the messiness and rushed-ness.

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"WAKE UP!"

Remus' eyes shot open and his body flailed in a convulsing, seizure like manor. Sirius had just pounced on him waking him from a pleasant sleep. Sirius was a bit larger than he was and weighed a good deal so the blow easily knocked the wind out of the poor Remus. The mass rolled off of him and Lupin rolled into a ball holding his stomach.

"I said get uuuuupp!" Sirius said in an annoying whiney manner, shaking Remus.

Still groggy and not fully awake, Remus let out a complaining whine and pulled the covers over his head.

"James! He won't get up."

"I don't blame him with that kind of wake up service. Come on mate get up."

Remus sat up and gave a quick glare to Sirius and then looks over at James. "I want you both to know that I hate you and I hope u die!" he spat getting up and beginning to get dressed

Remus was not a morning person and never would be. The two other boys exchanged looks; Sirius had an extremely goofy smile on his face obviously proud of his work. They finished getting dressed in silence and prepared for another long day of learning. The silence was broken of course by Sirius. An awkward situation never really affected him and he was normally the one to break the tension.

"I hate potions. With a passion. Don't want to go. Hate. Hate." He rambled.

"I know really though. I don't believe is fair that they should teach lessons at this ungodly hour of the day."

"You're just bitter in the mornings." James said with a laugh.

"There is no reason to be awake at this time!"

"Whatever mate."

They rounded the corner and entered potions, ready to begin the torture process.

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"LUNCH!!" shouted Sirius in glee as they exited their Dark Arts class.

James and Remus laughed at their excited friend. The boy was like a puppy easily amused and happy over simple little things. If they didn't know him better they would say he was a sweet innocent fellow but the close friendship allowed the thought to be almost laughable. Sirius did a little half skip and turn before stopping suddenly.

"Merlin's pants look! Is that a new student or something?"

"Who?" James and Remus asked in unison turning in the direction their awestruck friend was facing.

"Jason? He's gone to this school since first year."

Sirius' jaw dropped, "but when did he get so gorgeous!"

"Down boy," James laughed pulling at Sirius and dragging him along.

"I hate to tell you this mate but I don't think you're his type." Remus said with a laugh.

"How would you know what his type is?" Sirius protested surrendering to his friends pull and turning to face the blond.

"Wells you fit the description. Tall, built, devilishly good looking and dark hair but you are missing one little factor."

"Oh really?"

"You're not female."

"Damn," Sirius swore. There was a long pause before a small smile appeared on the boy's face. "Aha! You called me good looking."

"Down boy." Remus replied with a laugh. "You know what I mean."

Sirius laughed and turned to James. James was smirking and shaking his head. "You two are definitely weird."

They made it to the dining hall and began eating. The three always ate slowly and took their time not wishing to return to class. Filch almost always had to shoo them away from the table and it was normal for them to have points taken away for tardiness when they finally arrived in class. They were herded away and sadly and slowly returned to their classes.

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"Freedom. Sweet, sweet freedom." James commented as the final class was finally over.

"Woot!"

"Woot?" Remus turned with a smile.

"Yes, woot, do you have a problem." Sirius answered matter-o-factly.

The boys laughed continuing down the halls being shoved by the thick tide of students. Lilly caught up to them and grabbed James. She pulled him away and James shot them a quick 'see you later' before disappearing into the mass of people. Remus turned to Sirius with a shrug and they continued on. The students started dispersing as different houses began going their separate ways. Once he was able Sirius turned to Remus.

"How long do you think they are going to be?"

"Not sure knowing those two. Why?"

"I have something I want to show you," he answered the corners of his mouth flinching as if he were holding back a smile.

"Fine."

The dark haired boys grabbed him by the arm and drug him along down the halls away from the students. After a moment Remus realized where he was a noticed that they were in the direction of the potion cupboard. He was hopeful that Sirius wasn't planning to steal anything. Last time this happened the results weren't to good for him resulting in Sirius spilling the mixture on him while not paying attention. He had to stay a night in the hospital wing with a bad case of scales and 100-point deduction. Sirius worked his magic no pun intended on the door's lock and then pulled Lupin in. Remus looked at the many different vials and beakers filled with assorted liquids.

"Look mate don't expect me to take the blame for you again. If you're planning something, forget it!"

Sirius gave him a hurt look, "Why Remus how could you say such a thing? I'm hurt."

"Psht, okay. So why are we here?"

Sirius looked around quickly and looked a little fidgety.

"Come on what did you want to show me?"

As soon as the words had left his lips, Sirius reached his hands up to Remus' cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. The attack was so fast that he didn't have time to react and was pushed roughly back against the many cabinets. His eyes widened as he was held in place by Sirius' strong arms. Damn his Quiditch body. Almost to afraid to move, Remus froze as Sirius ground his lips hard into his own. They were surprisingly soft. Lupin pulled out of his state of shock and pushed Sirius away from him. The kiss had already lasted longer than he felt necessary.

He cleared his throat, "Um…look I don't know your feelings towards me but I'm not really sure that I share them. You're my best friend and I always will be but…"

Sirius was looking down to avoid eye contact, "I…um…sorry."

Sirius ran out the room and disappeared behind the wooden door. Remus leaned against the cabinets with a heavy sigh. He pressed his fingers to his lips and they ran them up to his hair. Sirius never showed affection that way…there were always occasional touches and butt pats but he figured that those were just to make him uncomfortable. He felt awkward and confused and a little violated. Sadly Sirius was the one he turned to in these times. Feeling alone he slid to the floor and rested his head on his knees. This wasn't going to be easy do deal with and not lose a friendship. Tears welled up in his eyes and he let them run down not wishing to return to face his friend.

Remus collected himself and slowly headed back to the common room. When he got there he saw James and Lilly necking on the couch with a snickering Sirius standing behind then, showering cold multi-colored sparks over them. When Sirius noticed his entrance he looked up and let out a small laugh.

"What are you doing?"

"Well I didn't know a spell for fireworks and I thought the moment needed a little atmosphere."

Remus rolled his eyes and sat down in the chair next to the couch. When James finally came up for air he noticed his friends presence and questioned him about where he had been in a motherly tone. Remus shot him a look and the matter was dropped leaving the air thick. Sirius looked at him with puppy eyes before grinning and waving childishly. Remus dropped his attention quickly and looked down at his hands, which he was ringing quite rapidly. He felt as though if the air were any thicker at that point her would soon suffocate. A sudden wave of claustrophobia washed over him and he shot out of his chair and made his way briskly to his dorm room.

He slammed the door and within a few quick strides he was next to his bed. Flopping down he rubbed his hands up through his hair in thought. Why did this bother him so much? His heart was racing and his palms sweat. This wasn't normal! It's not even like this was new. Sirius had always came up and touched him in personal places and kissed him…granted it was on the cheek…but those he thought were always just jokes to make James laugh or to annoy him. This kiss shouldn't be affecting him but it was and the whole thing made him on edge.

Before his thoughts could begin to really make sense the door shot open and James and Sirius walked through with confused looks on their faces.

"What is wrong with you mate?" James asked

"Yeah you looked positively ill. Are you alright?" Sirius asked nonchalantly.

"Yes I'm fine. Couldn't be better. Thanks for your concern." He answered, his voice laced with sarcasm. Sirius turned to him with an almost hurt look. As their eyes met, Remus' heart raced and began to ache as he stared into those puppy eyes. He turned away, looking down at the bed.

"Are you sure?" James asked.

"I'm fine!"

"Okay, okay. Well if you don't mind then Lilly is down stairs waiting for me." He said before he slipped out the door and disappeared down the staircase.

Sirius turned to Remus with a grin. He closed the distance between them with a few quick strides and sat down next to him as close as possible; so close he was practically in Remus' lap.

"Alone again." He cooed, kissing Remus lightly on the neck.

"Stop it will you?" Remus snapped scooting away, his heart racing.

"Oh come on now. I think you really like it." Sirius said softly.

Remus gave him a disgusted look and stood up. He stepped away to face his friend with a disapproving look. "_You_ may be queer but I most certainly am not and I've accepted and loved you none the less, but I am not like you and I would appreciate if you would respect my boundaries."

Sirius sat up straight trying to look official, "Well wasn't that a lovely formal speech? I guess you win for now but I know that somewhere inside you longs for me and I'm just waiting for that to come out." In a few seconds he was out the door and slammed it behind him.

Remus lay back on the bed and sighed. Sirius was so cocky at times. Though he couldn't help but admit he was charming and very good looking. No! No! No! He rolled to his right and slammed his fist hard into his pillow. The entire idea of it made him furious with himself. He lay there for a while and it wasn't long until the world around him became dark and he drifted into sleep.

Like a wrongly tuned violin in an otherwise perfect orchestra.

Remus was the first to wake up the next morning. He was surprised to think back onto his dreams and realize that they revolved mainly on Sirius. He fumed. He glanced over and saw that Sirius was missing from his bed. He wasn't really sure if the sight made him feel better or worse. With a quick outfit change he was out of the dorm, through the portrait and on his way to the dinning hall. Sadly his eggs and bacon weren't enough to clear his mind. He wasn't even hungry he was just hoping to make himself nauseous enough to consume his thoughts. It wasn't till breakfast was near its ending that his friends joined him in the dinning hall. Saturdays normally meant little to no breakfast. Sirius of course sat down next to him with James and Lilly across the way.

Oddly enough Sirius was in an extremely chipper mood. He was humming softly to himself as he poured a glass of pumpkin juice and shoveled up a heaping of eggs. Remus watched him for a moment or two before he was able to control his curiosity and turned to James and Lilly. Sadly they were so deeply infatuated with one another that he was only able to get a few words in the entire conversation.

Sirius was still humming merrily occasionally changing the melody. Lilly and James got up and left without notice leaving him and the humming twit alone.

"WHAT!" he exclaimed with twice as much volume as he intended"

Sirius looked at him with large eyes.

"What the hell could make you so very cheerful on this bloody morning?"

"Oh nothing it's just that…you were wrong."

"What are you talking about."

"Oh you know when you said I wasn't Jason's type."

Remus looked at him with a mixture of extreme confusion that bordered on shock.

"Nothing like a little bit of midnight snogging to start your day of right, eh mate?" he said and started to get up from the table."

Remus grabbed his arm and forcibly dragged him back. The sudden jerk caused him to lose balance and he fell partially onto the bench, partially onto Remus' lap and almost completely falling off the bench.

"Bloody hell!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did you just try to kill me?"

"Focus!"

"Jason…he and I…snogged. What more do you want?"

"When?"

"Last night. I couldn't sleep so I strolled the halls and who should I meet but a

bi-curious little Ravenclaw wandering the halls. So a few kisses here and a some playful gropes there and we were in the boys' lavatory going at it."

Remus's jaw dropped. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. How many people were like that in this school? Maybe it wasn't the people; maybe it was just Sirius. He was a very seductive boy.

"That's insane."

"Yes well don't be jealous. There's plenty left for you when you decide to go at it. This dog's got plenty of bones left don't you worry." He answered coolly before making a second attempt at leaving the table. Remus let him go.

The shock was still fogging his brain. Was Sirius telling the truth? He must've been. The boy may be a cocky, stubborn git but he wasn't a liar. At least not to Remus. They shared everything. Or at least they used to. Sirius's new love for him made Remus almost afraid to be with in arms length of the brown haired boy. And he wasn't even sure if it was Sirius or his own personal thoughts that made him uneasy. I mean he couldn't help it. Sirius was like a god. He had a great body and soft, puppy eyes and…no no no!

Remus stood up and started in the same direction as Sirius. It didn't take long to catch up the to boy and join him on his journey to nowhere. They walked together in silence for a while just roaming the halls and enjoying the peace of a Saturday.

"Look at that pretty sight."

Remus turned to look where Sirius was pointing to see Lucius Malfoy standing with a group of Slytherins. They were lurking in the shadows and cackling about Merlin knows what horrible things. Remus looked as Sirius stared in awe at the boy and his long blond hair and piercing blue eyes. A streak of jealousy shot through him and he swatted Sirius sharply on the arm.

"Stop that."

"What?"

"It's very rude to stare."

"Don't be jealous." Sirius smirked starting back down the hall.

"I'm not." Remus replied weakly turning to follow him.

Their walk ended as they entered the portal and went into the common room. Sirius went over and sat on the couch but quickly stood up when he saw that this was not Remus's destination. Remus headed to the dorm and was surprised to see Sirius trailing behind him. Sirius sat down on Remus's bed and watched him groom and dress himself. Remus removed his shirt, changed clothes and tied back his shoulder length, dirty blond hair. He could feel the other boy's eyes watching him and he felt violated. Turning away from Sirius, he buttoned up his shirt quickly to cover up his exposed, abbed torso and Sirius let out a small protesting whimper.

Remus rushed out of the room with Sirius quickly following behind him. They came down to find James reading quietly on the couch surprisingly without Lilly. He looked up to greet them but returned to his book without a word. Sirius sat down so close that he was nearly in Remus's lap. He rested his hand on Remus's thigh squeezing high up on it before moving up to plant a soft peck on Remus's neck. James left his book to be entertained by the sight before him. Kiss after kiss was being planted on the boy's skin slowly working up to his mouth. Remus sat there tight jawed and stiff letting the events unfold.

"Not gonna fight back there Remus?" James chuckled.

Remus felt his face being turned and then there was contact with another set of soft lips. As the other boy pulled away there was a small smirk on Sirius's lips.

"Fine, I'll play your game," Remus whispered before he lunged up onto the muscular body next to him. He pushed his lips hard into the other pair and used his body weight to push the other boy back onto the couch. He used his knees as leverage to keep him in the position to keep Sirius pressed down. The kiss was powerful and sent emotion coursing through his veins. Their lips ground together and after a few seconds Remus felt a heated tongue push through his lips and playfully stoke against his own. Remus thrust his back into the boy's mouth.

When Sirius pushed back into him Remus realized what was taking place and pulled back quickly. His look of shock was apparent to Sirius who looked up at him with a seductive expression and lust filled smile. Remus cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"There, take that," he said throatily.

James started a slow, sarcastic applause and laughed. The action must have seemed like a harmless playful action for James shook his head and returned to his book. The taste of Sirius remained hotly on his tongue and he wiped some of the other boys spit from his lip. He cleared his throat again and swallowed hard trying to get the foreign taste from his mouth. Sirius was staring at him with dreamy eyes. He knew exactly what the kiss meant and sadly so did Remus. He was disgusted at he other boys cockiness and himself. He shot up and stormed of with Sirius fast on his heals. As soon as they were both in the dorm Remus slammed the door shut.

They looked at one another for a second in a stand off before they lunged at eachother hotly and ground their lips harshly together. The taste of blood filled Remus's mouth but he didn't care. His hands groped over Sirius's hot muscled body and feeled over his every one of his luscious curves and muscles. He felt Sirius's hands on his body and pushed into him and felt as he was walked back up onto the wall.

"No…stop…. Please…I don't…love…you…" Remus tried pathetically whenever Sirius pulled away from him. His weak attempt to fight the moment seemed to turn Sirius on even more and he begin to pull away just to listen to his pleas. Remus no longer tried to deny the event and pushed his hips strongly into the other boy's. He ran his fingers through the soft, thick dark hair and groped up under the boy's shirt. Breaths intensified and hands became braver and explored more intimately. Sirius pulled back, fixed his hair, soothed his shirt and walked out of the room leaving a baffled Remus where he stood. Damn that boy! He knew just how to rile you up and leave you wanting more. Remus swore under his breath before fixing his hair and following Sirius down the stairs.

So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground.


End file.
